Lil Xan Opens Up About Addiction: "If I Keep Doing This, I'm Gonna Die Soon"

BYErika Marie5.3K Views
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The rapper spoke candidly about his addiction to prescription medication and how he's managing his recovery.

Concerns regarding artists' and drug addiction have existed since the inception of the industry, but as our society has grown more technologically advanced, things have taken a more grave turn. Street drugs were once seen as the worst possible addictions that could plague families, but prescription pills have edged them out of the top spot. We've lost several artists in Hip Hop in recent years, and of those who are still with us, many know all too well how difficult it can be to shake the urge to abuse medications.

Lil Xan has frequently made headlines over his addiction issues as he's spoken candidly about his recovery, and recently, he sat down with 60 Minutes+ to talk about his struggles. 

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Lil Xan, real name Nicholas Diego Leanos, talked about having "intense anxiety" and being prescribed a benzodiazepine—those include the likes of Klonopin, Ativan, and Valium—when he was 18-years-old. Soon, he'd developed a tolerance to Ativan so he left that behind and moved on to Xanax. Before long, he was steadily increasing his dosage.

"[My anxiety would] jump out at the weirdest points in life," Xan said. "I can do a show for thousands of people and I won't have a drop of anxiety. But the minute I'm in, like, a closed environment, it could just be the most random thing will just set me off." The rapper added that he would buy prescription drugs from street dealers.

"I was probably taking...12 two milligrams to 14 two milligrams a day," the 24-year-old said. "I was really bad. It was really bad... I was taking enough benzos to take down an elephant." He finally realized that it was time to make a change. "I looked in the mirror and I'm, like, it was just that moment you know, like, if I keep doing this, I'm gonna die soon. So I just quit, cold turkey. And I actually ended up having a few seizures. And I landed in the hospital."

Now, he's turned his life around and uses his time educating his fans and followers about the dangers of addiction, as well as the steps to recovery. "I get that my name, in itself, is popularizing it," Xan said. "I always made that known that I didn't like that my name was popularizing it. But it's what worked for me."

Watch Lil Xan's clip with 60 minutes+ below.

[via]


About The Author
Erika Marie is a seasoned journalist, editor, and ghostwriter who works predominantly in the fields of music, spirituality, mental health advocacy, and social activism. The Los Angeles editor, storyteller, and activist has been involved in the behind-the-scenes workings of the entertainment industry for nearly two decades. E.M. attempts to write stories that are compelling while remaining informative and respectful. She's an advocate of lyrical witticism & the power of the pen. Favorites: Motown, New Jack Swing, '90s R&B, Hip Hop, Indie Rock, & Punk; Funk, Soul, Harlem Renaissance Jazz greats, and artists who innovate, not simply replicate.
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